Episode 5: Kim Plowright on caring for parents with dementia
Meet Kim Plowright, whose life was slowly absorbed and reshaped by caring for her parents, both of whom developed dementia.
Her father was diagnosed first, and Kim found herself trying to problem-solve his slow erasure before her mother was also eventually diagnosed. Years followed of chaos, repetitive routines and conversations, boredom, frustration and fear — and sometimes violence. Much of it fell to Kim, as an only child, alongside her partner.
Social media provided a way of coping, offering space for the dark humour needed to survive the intense emotional pressure of caring for two people while holding down a demanding career.
After both her parents died in 2015, within six months of each other, Kim recalibrated by taking time out from her career in digital — a year she is still taking. She found her way back to art, which she had studied at Oxford University. What began with online drawing sessions led her back into classrooms and studios, and eventually into teaching.
Almost by accident, Kim became a drawing tutor, running life drawing, portrait and creative classes in community settings. When funding cuts closed those courses, she set up her own life drawing class, creating a safe space where people have permission to try, fail and challenge themselves.
In this episode
I first met Kim as part of a meet up called Digibury in Canterbury while she was heading up digital projects. I began to follow her documentation of her caring responsibilities on Twitter and Instagram. At the time, my family was also caring for my nan who had vascular dementia. I understood some of Kim’s experiences, although I wasn’t responsible for the major decision making, unlike Kim.
We discuss:
The confusing timeline of dementia diagnosis
The pressure of caring for two parents while also managing baby loss and illnesses with other family members
How the book Contented Dementia can offer insight and tips
The difficulties joining up the patchwork care system to get support
Managing grief and how creativity can play a role in redefining yourself
The transition to educator and drawing tutor
This is a story about the realities of caring, and how creativity can help rebuild a sense of self after everything else has fallen away.
Music: Morning Span provided by Mobygratis #mobygratis